I was never created to be perfect. How boring that would be. So many different sides of me. So much life going so many different ways through the years.
When I was young, I saw firsthand what it was like to help others. My parents might not always have had what they wanted, but we always had what we needed and then some to share when others were without. My dad ran his own mechanic shop and my mom, well, let's just say that many thought she was a born Social Worker. She never had a degree, but she knew what people needed and had a way of making sure that they were taken care of. My dad was made from the same cloth. He was tough but his heart was always looking out for someone. He was always active and in the middle of helping whoever needed him at the time. I quickly grew to have a respect for my parents as caregivers. I once met a family who had been traveling and they had car trouble along the way. I can remember how attentive my family was to their needs. They may have entered our home as strangers, but they left as friends.
As I grew older, I saw many family members and friends move in and out of our lives. Some lived with us, some visited while others were our neighbors. We all had a common bond and we all stayed close to each other, especially when times were hard. Our family was definitely defined by more than just blood. My mom was one of eight brother and sisters. My dad was one of six. They both had lived a hard life, but they knew what love was and what sacrifice meant.
Next door to us was the man that my dad looked up to and completely respected. He was my great grandpa and in his earlier years my dad had lived with him and my great grandma. They both showed him about how to do Gods biding. I have never heard my dad define it that way but with all the lives that dad touched and changed, it was Gods biding. Dad would just say that you should always help your neighbor. Now don't get me wrong. From what I understand my dad challenged my Grandpa Burkett, but dad's mom was ornery, so I believe that he was prepared for dad. I think he probably even looked forward to my dad's orneriness. I would sometimes stay with Grandpa Burkett, and he would feed me ritz crackers and tell me about God and actually show me the pictures in the bible. So, I guess I started learning early about giving to others. Now that I think about it, I had some pretty good teachers. Thankfully, they thought it was important for me to learn about God and about how his strength and grace gave so many the faith and hope they needed to see them through whatever hard times came their way.
As I got older, I discovered a lot of things about people. Sometimes my lessons were good and heartwarming. On other occasions my heart or another's, would be saddened and feel like it had been stomped on repeatedly. I was fortunate because I had someone to turn too in order to jump start me again. God became my stabilizer and with the faith and hope that he supplied to me, I had learned to depend on God's grace. I eventually became that Social Worker that my mom portrayed, but I found myself always wanting to give more and more.
In my own challenges and in those of others, I found that when you live life to the fullest you sometimes can find yourself being knocked down again and again. People are the most loving creatures, but they also can be the most critical. All people, no matter who we are, need love and understanding or it creates a hole of emptiness. There are not easy answers when dealing with pain whether it's our own or another's. This is why there are so many reasons as to why God has given all of us free will. We may not understand why some of us have more trouble than others in our lives, but you need to respect them as you want them to respect you. We need to realize that we are not walking in their shoes, so we do not know the power of what has happened to them or they to us.
Learning to fall is how we learn to forgive. How can you learn humility and how to be humble without seeing or feeling it for yourself? How can you learn to appreciate what is God given every day if you do not take the time to look? Our challenges and our growths go together. No one is perfect and all of us are born to fall, to learn and to grow over and over. We are not the ones who are allowed to judge. No matter the crime, the event or the loss of others, we are not to judge. We are no better than the next.
Sometimes it's a hard lesson but eventually we get it. We learn that our lives are already set in motion and everything, every person or event molds and makes changes in multiple people's lives. It's not always about us as an individual or what we believe is right or wrong. Recovering from our mistakes takes time and is part of life. When u believe in God and you practice having the faith of a mustard seed, the littlest of all seeds, you can hope again and believe that he will bring you through your roughest times. When you believe that God already knows every one of your deepest darkest secrets and yet he still wants to be in your life, beside you day in and day out! Then you can raise your head and begin to heal like you are supposed to. Let him carry you to where you need to be. Change, Growth, and Development, anything and everything is possible with God. Just believe and let him do the rest.
